good ole colonial

just a quick one about a movie that had me from the first few minutes. stumbled on it on cable, my favorite way to consume. the man who would be king, with an ole sangwich of ole papis back when i'm sure, michael caine and sean connery. wow, solid from beginning to end. really just gripping. i almost always fall for all that colonial crap and man this was a classic. rudyard kipling getting told a story of these two british "scoundrels" as the description on the info band at the bottom of the screen put it. masons, military men, liars and thieves. light-hearted and devilish. and the land they come to conquer for a short time is very anti-devil as you're quickly shown. they go from india to some made-up stan beyond the khyber pass, where osama's chillin now. whoo, if that's what this nation is up against, we are done. it is a wrap. that shit is probably still that warring and dusty and ancient. so many ideas in this thing, luck vs. fate, king vs. god. blurring these lines not a wise idea. not with dudes on horseback playing polo with men's heads. also a lesson to learn, don't fall for the local ladies, no matter how fine. wow, there was this scene of this one lady who comes in to seduce the white man asleep in his hut. she waves her skirt at the sleepy devil, whipping up the smell of her clearly pungent vagina, wafting it over the dude and he wakes up sniffing so happily, my god. that detail just did me in. and the loveliest of all the dusty ladies was none other than the real life mrs. caine, who goes by the name of shakira, a petite guyanese east indian who probably has a million doppelgangers in queens. another detail i really dug, an old-school shakira working her south american south asianness. overall, i am always pleased with movies such as this where the whiteness is clear, no question that the white man is around for nothing but mischief. he refers to his own whiteness, just that lets you know what you're dealing with. that the whiteness is in jeopardy and must be asserted is always the next reference. love it. lay it out, the true feelings. i was interested in the fact that i enjoyed watching the antics of these devils, was very familiar with how they related, i liked their company, they entertained me. i am trained in such ways considering the education i've gotten so of course there is appeal. but it is always worth scratching the appeal, testing it, digging for substance. man, and there was the middleman too, that malinche person, the translator, an asian trained in british ways, so ready to reveal and submit. i wanted to say the dude who's all, yes kemosabe or sahib or something but i'm mixing all the references. you know the guy. you might be him a little, i am, a little. with a murderous streak though, ready to switch on a dime and play polo with some colonizer heads. dare to step foot into my mountain desert.