beatrix kidding
have to subtract seven minutes from the bedroom clock to figure out the time, uh, damn the time changed before i could, 4:07 am, there. lowered the volume on the tv in the living room, turned on the little space heater. ready to go. this is my hour, haven't gotten to see it much lately in the past few weeks cuz i've had a day job. my body rebels in the bed though, my mind moreso. i do it to myself but i've done it to myself all my life. that is my excuse. been up late for as long as i can remember. ma and pa never minded. i was always late to school, especially from junior high school on, but i did well then so i guess that was how i made up for it all. was absent a lot too but still did work. anyway, now work gets harder to do, sleeping getting easier. except at night, during the day sleeping easier.
looking forward to the sunday sleep-in, the afternoon breakfast, the video vegetation. just came back from the weekend family visit, a little more morbid lately but still required. my father's in the hospital, not as bad as it sounds but not great either, hospitals never fun. coney island hospital not on the zagat survey of hospitals. but close to the family home and gets my father semi-quick treatment for what ails lately, this time asthma gone haywire after a flu shot. and really it's ma, working full-time and not able to be full-time nursemaid too, had to get him care she couldn't give. he was alright, a little bug-eyed and talking kinda crazy, about some lady who died earlier in the year that he sees in dreams. this is common. he's seen dead people for quite some time. ma says he's obsesionado, but she is too just plays it cooler. as the child of obsessed, possessive people i am all of them and more but play it the coolest. nothing's cooler than leaving, which i get to do, spend my hours with them and then break the fuck out.
was chilling with my brother before i left. he hasn't broken out and he's quite a few years older. he's paid with his soul for staying there but it seems like he's on the brink of something. yeah. i would like to think that he is. he's another long story. just to say we watched part of amores perros, the second gael movie of the night. i had been watching crime of padre amaro with ma when he walked in. that was bananas, but blasphemous so it wins points for that. and gael is a papi, of course, you could watch him all day long, but i hear he's short, like my height, don't know about that. my brother was proud of his assessment of padre amaro, that he was doing all that to save his job as a priest, what was the point of that, and just was enjoying his observations during amores perros, like with this one heavy, grimy mexican dude he was all, "fernando valenzuela is a good actor" and that the brother doing all that to his other brother, fucking his girl and paying her and all this violent shit too, he was all he really wants to actually fuck his brother, like there are guys who get obsessed like that, did i read the paper about some brothers in brooklyn, one who killed another cuz he was the favorite. we were laughing about all that. when i say he was proud and enjoyed his observations he would stop to point out how succinct his points were, like damn i'm good kinda stuff. i told him it might be good if he didn't stop to pat himself on the back each time.
oh and kill bill 2 was on and i was saying my favorite part of it was when she's training with that vicious chinese teacher who just fucks with her and makes her beat a board with her fist and sleep like a prisoner and i told him i laugh at it like i relate to it cuz my training growing up felt that torturous. all it was though was my father and brother tormenting me with schoolwork from young, like multiplication table drills and shit like that when i was seven. they were some vicious chinese teachers though. i didn't laugh then. i'm still twitchy like uma thurman on the cot in the cell but i don't think i can break thru a board with my fist anymore.
alright, so i see this is just rambling, not gonna be too deep, might drone on a bit though, very little editing involved. what else do i want to remember. oh the dancing in the living room. why i come home, look forward to my space. was in my robe and fuzzy slippers and the feels good inc video came on, the gorillaz with de la soul and i was psyched, did a nice little interpretative dance there, it's got this quiet part that makes me spin slow and this rocking part that makes me spin fast and freak the air and generally get stupid. i don't have as much cable as they do in coney island but i have a great dancefloor. for that alone i need to be in my home. could have stayed there tonight but i have to fight that, es que alli no me allo, what ma says, i can't find myself there. i find myself here, the killers singing again on the tv, me wandering on the screen. good night, it's 4:57-7, so 4:50. it's better when i put the work on the page, i can't do it in my head.
looking forward to the sunday sleep-in, the afternoon breakfast, the video vegetation. just came back from the weekend family visit, a little more morbid lately but still required. my father's in the hospital, not as bad as it sounds but not great either, hospitals never fun. coney island hospital not on the zagat survey of hospitals. but close to the family home and gets my father semi-quick treatment for what ails lately, this time asthma gone haywire after a flu shot. and really it's ma, working full-time and not able to be full-time nursemaid too, had to get him care she couldn't give. he was alright, a little bug-eyed and talking kinda crazy, about some lady who died earlier in the year that he sees in dreams. this is common. he's seen dead people for quite some time. ma says he's obsesionado, but she is too just plays it cooler. as the child of obsessed, possessive people i am all of them and more but play it the coolest. nothing's cooler than leaving, which i get to do, spend my hours with them and then break the fuck out.
was chilling with my brother before i left. he hasn't broken out and he's quite a few years older. he's paid with his soul for staying there but it seems like he's on the brink of something. yeah. i would like to think that he is. he's another long story. just to say we watched part of amores perros, the second gael movie of the night. i had been watching crime of padre amaro with ma when he walked in. that was bananas, but blasphemous so it wins points for that. and gael is a papi, of course, you could watch him all day long, but i hear he's short, like my height, don't know about that. my brother was proud of his assessment of padre amaro, that he was doing all that to save his job as a priest, what was the point of that, and just was enjoying his observations during amores perros, like with this one heavy, grimy mexican dude he was all, "fernando valenzuela is a good actor" and that the brother doing all that to his other brother, fucking his girl and paying her and all this violent shit too, he was all he really wants to actually fuck his brother, like there are guys who get obsessed like that, did i read the paper about some brothers in brooklyn, one who killed another cuz he was the favorite. we were laughing about all that. when i say he was proud and enjoyed his observations he would stop to point out how succinct his points were, like damn i'm good kinda stuff. i told him it might be good if he didn't stop to pat himself on the back each time.
oh and kill bill 2 was on and i was saying my favorite part of it was when she's training with that vicious chinese teacher who just fucks with her and makes her beat a board with her fist and sleep like a prisoner and i told him i laugh at it like i relate to it cuz my training growing up felt that torturous. all it was though was my father and brother tormenting me with schoolwork from young, like multiplication table drills and shit like that when i was seven. they were some vicious chinese teachers though. i didn't laugh then. i'm still twitchy like uma thurman on the cot in the cell but i don't think i can break thru a board with my fist anymore.
alright, so i see this is just rambling, not gonna be too deep, might drone on a bit though, very little editing involved. what else do i want to remember. oh the dancing in the living room. why i come home, look forward to my space. was in my robe and fuzzy slippers and the feels good inc video came on, the gorillaz with de la soul and i was psyched, did a nice little interpretative dance there, it's got this quiet part that makes me spin slow and this rocking part that makes me spin fast and freak the air and generally get stupid. i don't have as much cable as they do in coney island but i have a great dancefloor. for that alone i need to be in my home. could have stayed there tonight but i have to fight that, es que alli no me allo, what ma says, i can't find myself there. i find myself here, the killers singing again on the tv, me wandering on the screen. good night, it's 4:57-7, so 4:50. it's better when i put the work on the page, i can't do it in my head.
posted by nightbreaker at
7:59 AM
2 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
glad you finally revolted, native...often, the natives are restful, which is why nightowls rule the earth...yes, we should start up a zagat for hospitals and every other major infrastructure in the city...i was jealous of uma, too, that she got to be trained by a master
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